Tales from the grading site...

Oh, state tests, you are so beautiful. You take up 2 weeks of my life, you make my kids crazy, and you are inane and boring. I spent months leading up to you, freaking out, knowing my "grade" as a teacher is based on you and my kids' ability to pass or fail is based on you too.

But none of that, no none of it, prepared me for the MIND-NUMBING TASK that is grading the written portion of the exams.

I have to break this up into many posts, and really there could be endless ranting. But let me start with this. Day 1: I show up bright and early at 8:30 AM on a Saturday. We proceed to sit around for 15-20 minutes. We then get a 30 or so minute introduction from everybody, none of which is actually explaining what we are doing. But that doesn't matter since everyone at my table is a veteran teacher with many years of grading under their belts. They quickly explain the process of filling out the forms for me.

We finally begin the "training" portion of the day, where we read through books on what answers can be accepted in graphic organizers, short essays, and long responses for the 4th graders. Then they read them out loud for us. Then we grade sample questions. Then they tell us what the grades should be for the sample questions. Then we argue about what scores were given for grades for the sample questions, which really doesn't matter because the state made up the booklets in the first place and that's what we have to go by. This takes the entire morning. We actually have to leave for lunch late (12:15) because it takes too long and we have to take a test verifying that we are following the mandated scoring guides that everyone was arguing about. The grading itself does not actually begin until 1:15, and then goes until 3:30, where we stop and go home. What a use of a day. A sweet, sweet, taxpayer funded day.

The kicker? I scored higher and did better on the training and test grading than anybody at my table. I was also way more articulate and cognizant about explaining how I got my answers and reached all the right conclusions. When it came time to choose a "table leader" to re-read scores and organize materials, they unanimously pointed at me. I have one third of the experience of the next least experienced teacher at my table. Two were near retirement. One had a child almost my age. Glad to know I am somehow the most qualified person in the bunch. That makes me have A LOT of faith in the system.

More to come once I catch up on all the sleep deprivation from working 12 hour days and weekends...

I guess so

Today we were doing word study with math vocabulary since the state ELA tests are over but the state math tests are next week. Actual quote from my classroom:

Me: So, when the word 'translate' doesn't have the -tion on it, is it a noun, verb, or adjective?
Most of the class: Verb!
Me: That's right, because translate is an action. So when I add on the suffix -tion, is it a noun, verb, or adjective?
Some of the class: Noun!
Me: Awesome!
AW: That's the sound my cat makes. "Noun, noun."

Really? That's where your brain was at during this lesson?

classic

Heard this story from a friend that used to teach in New Orleans. At best, it is only marginally related to teaching, but it is indicative of larger problems in society.

She had a friend who was doing research on Katrina victims. He was at a woman's house verifying and entering names for a survey. He looked at one name on the list and couldn't believe it. He said, "Your daughter's name is Shady Nasty?" The women said, "No, no, her name is Sha'Dynasty, they forgot the up-comma."

(Up-comma is my new favorite word.)

This, by the way, is a really fun game I play with fellow teachers. What's the weirdest name you have heard? I like the girl who introduced herself as "Camry. Yeah like the car." We had a boy at my old school named Yes. I have heard endless accounts of girls whose names are spelled Le-a and pronounced Ledasha. And Sha'Dynasty? Frankly, it's still almost as horrible as the name Shady Nasty would be.

testing testing 123

In the past month, my students have spent exactly 8 school days doing "practice" or "instructionally targeted" assessments. This is NOT counting the many earlier "predictive" or "instructionally targeted" assessments done in several previous months.

This is not really funny at all, especially considering the amount of time and money spent (wasted?) on all of this citywide. But it was pretty funny when they took a math exam that more or less required the use of a calculator for one portion, and then I only had 10 calculators for 20 kids.

It's okay. I'm good at following the philosphy of "make it work.

sort of

Today I read aloud an article about Jane Goodall so they could practice listening, taking notes, and doing responses based off what they heard. After we discussed how she helped save chimpanzees in the wild, one of my students asked, "Is it illegal to kill all animals?" I said, "Not all, but many animals, especially endangered ones." She responded, "Oh yeah, like koalas and dinosaurs."

Yeah. Exactly like that.

thanks?

I have naturally very straight hair, but awhile back I started putting it in braids at night, then letting it out and adding gel to it to make it curly. The first time I did this, one of my boys said, "You look really familiar right now. You look like someone I know. I can't figure out what it is." I said, "Is it me? Do I remind you of your English teacher, just with curly hair? Cause that's what I am." He said no.

At the end of the day, he came up to me again. "I figured it out! You look like a wet Puerto Rican!"

....okay.

close but no cigar

As we were about to read a short story in class, I say, "This story is an example of a myth. What is a myth?" Mind you, the answer is written right in the textbook we are about to read from.

DS excitedly raises his hand. "Oooh, oooh! I know! It's a drug, like speed."